Freak and Monster in Paradise
by He Who Flies Through The Dark
Summary: And now... Hari and Chopper set sail aboard the Going Merry, heading through Paradise. Sequel to Freak and Monster Atop the Mountain.
1. The Okama

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Harry Potter, and I am making no money from this work.  
~~!~~**

Hari awoke to the sway of his hammock, and the feel of Chopper lying on his chest. There were an insufficient number of hammocks for every male in the crew to have one, but thankfully the ship was only short one hammock. The solution was simple: Hari and Chopper shared a hammock, Chopper using his smallest form so he could lie atop Hari without crushing him. It worked, and Hari didn't mind, but there was a small inconvenience: If Hari woke up before Chopper did, he couldn't get up without waking up Chopper. Meaning he couldn't use the spare time he had now to deal with his chores, until Chopper woke up, at least.

So, until Chopper woke up, there were only two things Hari could do: think, and make use of his senses. Hari looked around, at all the other hammocks he could see. He figured shortly: *It must be quite early.* Why? Well, Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji, often referred to as the "Monster Trio", were all still asleep. Usopp was gone, but that didn't mean much—Usopp liked to get up early in order to have more time for his tinkering. Finally, it was still quite dark. Some light came in through the hatch, and there wasn't much of it—just enough for Hari to see the forms of his crewmates.

So… early. And Hari didn't feel that his body needed any more sleep. So it looked like he was going to do some more thinking.

*So… this is my life now.* And so it was. He was, apparently, a pirate(not the horrid murder and pillaging kind, the adventure across the sea kind, as Luffy had explained it to him), aboard a ship with a transforming reindeer and a rubber man. And he himself… he himself had a power of his own: the golden energy. *But what is it?* And Hari had no clue. He hadn't eaten a Devil Fruit, and those were what gave Luffy and Chopper their powers. He thought back to his earlier life, the one full of pain, abuse, misery. And the incidents that sometimes occurred back then. But those incidents were nothing like his golden energy. But maybe… *The incidents and the golden energy have the same source?*

It was a thought that had occurred to him several times before. But this time, he had a new thought: *I wonder if I can cause an "incident" using my energy?* He would have to try that out. Part of him cringed at that. But the rest of him was eager, ready and waiting to try something new, as his crewmates(especially Usopp) often did.

A loud noise filled the air. Actually, a "loud noise" was insufficient to effectively describe it. It was more like the noise of… an explosion. Hari jumped with surprise, causing Chopper to fall off his chest and onto the floor. Similar reactions were had from the other crew members(barring Zoro, who was still asleep).

"Huh? Wassat?" Luffy was already on his feet, climbing the ladder to the deck. Sanji was less abrupt, slowly rising to his feet. Muttering something under his breath, he followed after Luffy. Chopper and Hari followed. Soon, the quartet were at the deck, where the noise had originated from. Hari's suspicions were confirmed as he saw Usopp quite literally smoking, hair frazzled and slightly charred, unconscious.

"Somebody call a doctor!" Three glares were aimed directly at Chopper, who had been the one to say said words. Hari was the next to speak. "Chopper, you are a doctor!"

"Oh! Right!" Chopper was in his larger humanoid form in an instant, then he promptly dashed over and grabbed Usopp, carrying him down the ladder.

There was silence for a few moments before Nami and Vivi ascended. "Whoever was the cause of that, I will—" Luffy was prompt with a blunt response. "It was Usopp. He blew himself up." Nami paused. "Messing with explosives again?" Silence was the answer, but it was enough of one. "Well, I suppose that's enough of a punishment for him. Still, if I'm woken up again, it had better be for either two reasons: breakfast being served or… or… a crossdressing freak with a Devil Fruit power being pulled up on a fishing line! Basically, not at all!" Nami finished raging and descended the ladder. Vivi shrugged. "It may be best to leave her to sleep for a bit. And me, for that matter. Good… morning." Vivi descended after Nami.

Hari well and truly loved being a part of the crew. Was it dangerous? Absolutely. But that was what Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji were for. The danger didn't much matter, in his opinion. No, what mattered was the adventure that was coming. The adventure that would be far more interesting than any entertainment he could have gotten back in his own world. Even assuming the Dursleys let him have the best(which they wouldn't have), this was so much better.

This was better than any television show, any video game. To start with, the characters in this story… were quite real. And Hari was one of them. For that matter, this adventure was real, completely and utterly real. Did that mean he was in danger? Yes, it did. But that didn't matter. Hari could protect himself. And again, Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji were easily capable of handling the dangers, from what Hari had seen.

Aboard the Going Merry, Hari had three full meals a day, plus incredible entertainment(the antics of the crew were better than any television program back home), plus adventure, in exchange for a few chores that were far easier than the Dursleys' assigned tasks. And perhaps most importantly, he had friends. Very unusual friends, sure, but then again, Hari was an unusual person.

On another note, he was permitted to sleep in, or even nap(when he wasn't needed), two things which the Dursleys never allowed. And he promptly took advantage of one of these privileges, returning to the men's room and napping in a vacant hammock. Then there were the… not so good bits. For instance, the fact that sleeping in, though allowed, often meant Luffy would drag him out of his hammock in order to get to breakfast. Some time passed, and then that was what Hari believed Luffy was doing to him, as his body hit the floor and he was dragged across it. Thankfully, by now he had other options than to just submit to the dragging. Zoro's training kicked in as he stood up, mid-drag, and used the arm Luffy wasn't dragging him by to punt him into the wall.

Hari would have thought that such physical actions would be forbidden among the crew. But instead they were commonplace and quite permissible. It was both a blessing and a curse, a blessing because… Hari didn't particularly like being dragged out of his sleep. A curse… Hari shuddered as he thought of Nami and her skull punches.

Luffy recovered shortly, as Hari expected. A combination of practically supernatural endurance and his Devil Fruit power made attacks of the caliber Hari just used useless to actually hurt him, though they were quite effective for dissuasion. "Hari! Come on! There's a cool okama guy on deck!" Luffy ascended the ladder, apparently assuming the matter needed no further discussion. Hari sighed, and ascended the ladder.

With every go up and down the ladder, it got easier. Hari remembered the first time he used it… and he remembered being very glad for the fact that Chopper was a doctor. As it turned out, a prosthetic foot and hand were unconductive to climbing a ladder. But now, it was quite doable without injury. Assuming Hari took it relatively slowly, anyway. Hari arrived on deck. And removed his glasses, wiped them on his shirt, and put them back on. Given some time, Hari decided that his eyes were not, in fact, deceiving him. But it was a very fragile decision. *How can somebody like that exist?*

"And now that everybody's here…" The man that Hari beheld suddenly smacked Luffy in the face. The cry of disbelief and anger was universal among the crew. "What was that for?!"

"And now… behold the power of my Clone-Clone fruit!" Hari removed his glasses once, wiped them, and put them back on. It didn't take very long to accept what he saw as true. By his adjusted standards, a crossdressing man with the ability to change his appearance was downright mundane. No, this wasn't weird. For him to consider something weird, it would have to be a lot weirder than this.

Hari didn't object(what would the point be?) as the man moved amongst his friends and touched their faces, one by one, including his own. And slowly, a smile formed on his face.

"And I can use the faces of anybody I've touched before! Observe!" The man's face changed rapidly, to a number of faces Hari had not seen before. "And I can use even parts of those faces to make new ones!" Then parts of the man's face began to change rapidly, independently of the other.

Hari decided that friendships could, in fact, be made in but a few minutes. Based on how he and most of the other crew members were dancing with chopsticks in their noses, anyway. Eventually, he noticed a ship with a swan figurehead pulling up alongside the Merry. "It looks like it is time for me to depart. May we meet again, friends!" "Goodbye!" Yup, definitely friends.

"Let's go, Mr. 2 Bon Clay!" The swan-ship sailed away. Jaws dropped. How else were Hari and the others supposed to react when it was revealed that a new friend of theirs was one of the top agents in the criminal agency they were fighting?

The ship was out of sight. Words soon flew through the air as throwing stars towards a ninja's target.

Everybody but Sanji(still cooking breakfast): "That was Mr. 2?"

Zoro: "I wonder how strong he is?"

Usopp and Chopper: "Okama scary, okama scary…"

Luffy: "He can still be our friend though, right?"

That particular sentence was met with Nami's fist, and some similarly violent words.

Nami: "HE'S MISTER 2, IDIOT!"

Hari: "It's hard to believe somebody like that can be a threat…"

Vivi: "Well, he wouldn't be ranked 2 if he wasn't a threat! And—oh no. He had my father's face! Who knows what kind of damage he could do using that!"

Vivi frowned for a moment soon after, then spoke: "Actually, it's somewhat fortunate we met him, after all, now we know his power, we can take countermeasures. Chopper, do you have any spare bandages? And a marker?" Arm wrappings were promptly applied, together with markings underneath them.

Hari figured out the purpose of this action quickly. "Oh, so if we see a member of our crew, we can use these to prove our identities?"

Vivi was quick to reply. "Exactly!"

Sanji popped his head up through the hatch. "Breakfast is served, you should get—why are you staring at me at like that? Did I miss something?"

 **~~!~~  
Author's Notes:  
BEHOLDETH!  
**

 **Next up: The Port.**

 **And now: Responses to selected reviews from the last chapter(the Epilogue of Freak and Monster Atop the Mountain).  
thunder18, Ender the multiverse detective: Thanks for your reviews. It's good to know I'm doing well.  
Sakura Lisel: Acid Pop. Burns holes through tongues. Dumbledore's tongue is no exception. Second... the transport spell only sends them to his approximate location(luckily they landed on land). The compass points to his exact location. Hope this helps.**

 **As always, if you have feedback(positive or negative), please review.**


	2. The Port

**Disclaimer: All previous disclaimers still apply.**  
 **~~!~~**

The Merry swayed underneath Hari's feet(or rather, his foot and his prosthetic). And for the first time in several days, his prosthetic combined with the ship's sway unbalanced him and led him to trip. But Hari didn't much mind—the factor that led to his fall was excitement, caused by something he was looking forwards to: the port town of Nanohana. For the first time in a while, Hari would step forth onto dry land. Hot, sandy dry land, but dry land regardless. And there would be fresh food. It had been some time since the crew replenished Merry's food stores, a fact made even worse by Luffy's eating habits. *At least we had fish.*

"Land ho!"

Hari, back on his feet, was quite happy to announce the presence of land. Soon, all the crew, barring Zoro, who was either training or sleeping, were on deck, working to guide the Going Merry to the docks.

Hari was quite happy to help with this sort of work. Though tying knots was an impossibility for him, there were many tasks that didn't require that sort of dexterity. And though his strength was nowhere near that of several of the crew, monstrous strength wasn't required for the tasks at hand. What strength was needed, however, was easily covered by what Hari had become capable of, courtesy of Zoro's training.

The Going Merry seemed to glide across the water, and before Hari knew it, the anchor had been dropped. And Luffy was gone, in a blink apparently. "He'll be fine, right?"

Hari's question was met with a set of nods, and an actual response from Sanji: "Our idiot captain was once atop an execution scaffold, and was about to be executed, when a lightning bolt struck the scaffold. He was fine afterwards, the pirate doing the executing wasn't. Even if he gets into trouble, it'll likely resolve itself by some ridiculous stroke of luck."

A few minutes later, wrapped in the only set of clothes he had suitable for a desert climate, Hari descended the gangplank, managed not to trip and fall, and stood on solid ground for the first time in a long while. If Hari was a more dramatic person, he might have dropped down and kissed it. Instead, he merely danced for joy. This action was soon echoed by Chopper, to the amusement to the onlooking other members of the crew. "Alright, come on. We've got supplies to…" Nami seemed to trip on her words for a moment… "purchase."

Hari was soon enthralled with the sights and sounds of the market. Exotic fruits, meats, fish… fine cloth, jewelry… spices… clothing… there was just so much to behold. It was a pity he didn't have any spending money of his own, but he knew he would get a share of any loot the crew acquired. Which meant that sooner or later he would get his shot at some market purchases.

Nami was aggressively negotiating the price for a multitude of water barrels she wished to purchase when Hari noticed Luffy running towards him… followed by a rather large number of Marines.  
*Maybe they won't recognize us-*

"Oh! Hey guys!"

Nami sighed. "Dammit Luffy. Run!"

Hari soon found himself sprinting away from the Marines, somewhat silently cursing his injuries. The second time he almost tripped, Zoro slung him over his shoulder and kept running. Hari didn't much mind, considering how tired he was. And then there was fire. And smoke. When it cleared, there was a shirtless man standing in the middle of the road, in between the crew and the Marines. He promptly spoke: "Go on, Luffy. I'll handle Smoker." "Thanks, Ace!" The man, presumably Ace, burst into flame, and then was flame. He met a wave of smoke that Hari realized wasn't coming from his flames, but rather from another source.

Unwilling to look a gift pyromaniac in the mouth, the crew continued their somewhat mad run back to the Merry. Along the way, there was a simple question asked, and a similarly simple but powerful answer.

"Luffy, who was that? You acted like you knew him…"

Luffy's response to Vivi was, as earlier stated, simple and powerful. "Ace. He's my brother."

If the Marines were still in proximity of the Straw Hats, the resulting mass trip would have led to them getting caught. Thankfully, no further inquiries were put forth until the crew boarded the Merry. But once they did…

"So cool!" Chopper. "He was... awesome!" Hari.

"Why didn't you tell us you had a brother?" Basically everybody.

"Do you think he can deal with Smoker?" Zoro.

That particular question was immediately answered, but not by Luffy, but rather by the human fireball that somehow touched down on the Merry's deck without burning it at all. Not that Luffy wouldn't have answered said question, given the fact that his mouth was halfway open before any of the crew even noticed the fireball.

Luffy promptly took advantage of that fact. "Ace!"

"Long time no see, little brother. It's good to see a familiar face here. How are you faring?"

"Pretty good. Watcha here for?"

Ace's grin morphed into a scowl, prompting Usopp and Chopper to jump back in fear, and Hari to almost do likewise. "Sadly, I'm not here for the food, or just to see you. I'm hunting a pirate… a traitor… named Blackbeard. He… he killed one of Pops' family… my crewmates… my friends. Thatch." Ace's face went from a scowl to looking like it was about to shed tears. "I… anyway. I'm sorry to say I can't stay here for a bit—I've got a time-sensitive lead to follow." Then Ace's face changed yet again, brightening, just before he shoved a small, apparently blank piece of paper into Luffy's hands. "Keep this with you, okay? This piece of paper will bring us together again."

"Okay! I won't ever lose it!" And Hari could believe that. For that matter, he could believe the part about the paper bringing the brothers together again… there was something off about the paper. Not something he could see, but something he could feel. Not like heat or cold, sandpaper on the skin or a good meal in his mouth, but… something deeper.

"Bye!" Ace leaped off the ship, thankfully landing on a… *What is that? Some kind of… jet powered surfboard?*… thing. With a rather loud noise, the thing shot off, Ace on its back.

The following silence was profound in its intensity and duration. And so was what followed it, much to Hari's dismay, given how loud the combined voices of the crew were. Surprisingly(or maybe unsurprisingly), only one sentence was needed to silence those voices, and at the same time provide a somewhat satisfactory answer. "That's Ace."

"Look!" It was soon afterwards that Vivi indicated seven incoming Baroque Works ships, which Ace seemed to be approaching. Then suddenly, Ace leaped off his board in a high-flying burst of flame, knocking it under the waves. The board surfaced after passing underneath the ships, and Ace promptly landed on it. "Fire Fist!"

And Hari beheld the single most potent exertion of power he had yet seen within the Grand Line, as Ace's fist of fire pierced through the first ship it hit… then the next… then the next five after. Hari was quick to comment. "Wow." Usopp and Chopper were simply speechless. Sanji lit a new cigarette for himself, Zoro grinned for no obvious reason, and Luffy whooped. Vivi was the next to actually speak. "I wish he could have stayed. Somebody like that… Baroque Works wouldn't stand a chance." Afterwards, Nami commented, "And I didn't even get a chance to pickpocket him." Perhaps or perhaps not luckily for her, it came out as a mumble which Luffy didn't notice.

From there, there was sailing to be done. The Merry had been loaded with what supplies the crew had managed to gather before the Marines interrupted, and as it happened, that was enough. The Going Merry's sails unfolded and caught the wind, and she took off towards the west side of the Sandora River.

"Alright then. If we're going to stop Crocodile's plot, we're going to need to get to the Yuba Oasis, where as far as I know, the rebel army is hiding. Once we're there, I can explain the truth to Kohza." Nods were shared across the crew. Sometimes, speech just didn't need to be used. Or perhaps the Straw Hats were simply tired in the desert heat.

But if the Straw Hats were tired, then that didn't apply to their emotions, which could influence their actions as well. All it took was a few drops of excitement and curiosity, perhaps caused by a fair number of small, odd creatures on the edge of the river, to get them moving.

"Be careful, Usopp! That's a Kung-Fu Dugong! It might take that as a—" In the space of a few second, Usopp was battered to the ground, hen's egg bumps forming on his head. "challenge. Why do I even bother?" Another few seconds later, and that same Dugong was lying on the ground with similar bumps on its own head, clearly inflicted by Luffy, based on how he was standing next to the Dugong with a raised fist.

"Luffy! If you defeat a Kung-Fu Dugong, it inevitably accepts you as its sensei!" And it seemed that all of them were doing so, bowing to their new master. "Oh… you beat their own sensei. Wonderful. Now they all consider you their sensei. Wonderful. Why, why do I even bother?"

Hari had a response to that. "To keep the craziness in check?"/span/p

"But it's definitely not working!"

"Try doing it before the craziness actually happens."

Vivi was silent a moment. Then she spoke. "I'll… keep that in mind."

Luckily, Chopper was able to negotiate them into staying behind, but he needed a "parting gift" of food in order to do so.

And so, once the next day came and the Straw Hats took advantage of the opportunity to enhance their physical training, the Straw Hats set out to Yuba, beginning their desert trek. It wasn't pleasant, perhaps because of the insufficient amount of available food.  
 **~~!~~**  
 **Author's Notes:**

 **Sorry for the delay, mates. I was delayed by a variety of factors. But mostly laziness and procrastination. Actually, just that.**

 **Pro tip: Your writing is enhanced if you actually write, and even more so if you do it for somewhat long periods straight rather than in bursts. Sadly, I wrote in bursts. It took me a while to finish this chapter as a result.**

 **On the plus side, I got some ideas before I finished this chapter. There might be a Worm self insert in the future of my writing.**

 **And now: responses to selected reviews!**  
 **thunder18: Great chapter? Sure, thanks. Update soon... sorry.**  
 **tamashiyuki: Thanks, again. Behold continuation.**

 **As stated previously, any useful feedback I can get via reviews is welcome.**  
 **Thanks for reading.**


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